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Tom Toles for January 27, 2019

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  1. Nct beach wiz
    DD Wiz Premium Member about 2 months ago

    If “divide and conquer” is the strategy, PUTIN WINS!

    Putin installs his long-groomed kompromat-powered puppet and shuts down the U.S. government until getting beaten — crushed and humiliated — by Nancy Pelosi and the Democrats.

    • The government of the United States — Putin’s greatest adversary — SHUT DOWN for the third time in a year, each time longer than the one before and all of them started while Republicans controlled the House, Senate and presidency.

    • Western alliances in disarray — including a puppet president who is trying to get the U.S. to withdraw from NATO.

    • Trump literally spouting Soviet and Russian talking points regarding Syria and the justifications for the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1979.

    • Trump repeatedly claims to trust Putin more than the heads of his own intelligence agencies, all of who HE appointed.

    • Trump GAVE TOP SECRET CLASSIFIED INFORMATION to top Russian diplomats IN THE OVAL OFFICE, which was covered by Russian media and photographers since U.S. media was shut out.

    • Trump — who has no prior diplomatic experience or expertise — holds multiple secret ONE-ON-ONE meetings with Putin that he tries to conceal even from his own staff sometimes, with no official notes or memoranda, even confiscating and destroying interpreter notes, while Putin is free to preserve HIS interpreters’ notes and possibly even makes recordings good for future kompromat.

    • Total chaos in the White House.

    • Financial markets in turmoil.

    • Tariffs that make U.S. exports less desirable and Russian exports more desirable (China no longer importing U.S. soybeans and Putin rushing to fill the Chinese demand for soybeans that used to be met by American farmers so that U.S. soybean sales to China will never come back.)

    Shutdown? Trump doesn’t care about shutting down the government, because it is not the one he works for.

    Bottom line:

    Barack Obama was the first BLACK male president.

    Donald Trump is the first BLACKMAILED president.

     •  Reply
  2. Alexander the great
    Alexander the Good Enough  about 2 months ago

    Yes, the State of the Union is messed up, for sure. But I’ve no doubt that Speaker Pelosi will see to it that we get some common sense back in government and the nation. The Speaker released this statement yesterday (for real!):

    “The indictment of Roger Stone makes clear that there was a deliberate, coordinated attempt by top Trump campaign officials to influence the 2016 election and subvert the will of the American people. It is staggering that the President has chosen to surround himself with people who violated the integrity of our democracy and lied to the FBI and Congress about it.

    “In the face of 37 indictments, the President’s continued actions to undermine the Special Counsel investigation raise the questions: what does Putin have on the President, politically, personally or financially? Why has the Trump Administration continued to discuss pulling the U.S. out of NATO, which would be a massive victory for Putin? https://www.speaker.gov/newsroom/12519-4/

    This isn’t just the Spanker spanking sad Little Donnie, this isn’t even her twisting the knife. This is actual war. This is Nancy Pelosi announcing that she’s going for Caveman and Tяaitor Tя☭mp’s jugular, and that she’s going to leave him bleeding out on the floor. Count on it!

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  3. Tumblr mbbz3vrusj1qdlmheo1 250
    Night-Gaunt49  about 2 months ago

    Trump besides being an agent of a foreign power, wants dictatorship here for him too.

     •  Reply
  4. Quill pen
    Yontrop  about 2 months ago

    But I guess the three week agreement lets Trump make his speech. I’m glad the government employees will finally get paid, but don’t really see a “win” for democracy yet. Hope Alexander is right.

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  5. Picture
    EdMeiller Premium Member about 2 months ago

    No, we DON’T need a speech but we’re gonna get one. Could be a reason he ‘caved’.

     •  Reply
  6. Mr haney
    NeedaChuckle Premium Member about 2 months ago

    The only reason the AH in Chief called off the shutdown is so he can hear himself speak at the State of the Union and get applause from Republicans who hate the Union.

     •  Reply
  7. Wtp
    superposition  about 2 months ago

    “I’m from the government, and I’m here to help” can only be used by someone that wants a government of the people, by the people and for the people to perish and have our constitutional democratic republic offering liberty and equal opportunities to all replaced by an authoritarian “theocratic” dictatorship with a mangled DIY Christian ideology where blue-eyed blonds rule over all of the other castes who are forced into austerity and hopelessness.

    The USA is an experiment in self-rule requiring cooperation deliberation compromise and tolerance … not a fragile easily overthrown monolithic dynasty but a resilient super-strong alloy cast in a melting pot and quenched with the blood of those who believe that none of us are as good as all of us … which is why it has survived for so long.

    The US has been the beacon of hope for oppressed immigrants for centuries. Immigrants who have come here — many poor and uneducated — have worked hard even started businesses, learned the language and law, studied the Constitution and become citizens while there are those born here who been indoctrinated with fear of the unknown, discouraged from learning other languages, math, and science to make them more susceptible to propaganda disseminated by wealthy autocrats who maintain behind the scenes manipulation of Congress by keeping We the People from uniting in common causes and instead subtly coercing them into blaming and distrusting each other.

    We have the tools to fix it if we choose to use them, but we must take an active role from now on so that we do not lose what so many before us have fought to maintain.

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  8. 7a3d35b05103496eecec311170ba260d
    MightyMouse  about 2 months ago

    If idiot Donnie Dufus was on crack, then those who put him into office could at least have an excuse and shout " But we didn’t know!" On further consideration, they probably wouldn’t recognize the difference between HIGH and STUPID..or ( highly stupid)..

     •  Reply
  9. Missing large
    6.6TA Premium Member about 2 months ago

    Mr. Toles: Thanks for this piece. More, please.

     •  Reply
  10. Adaptor  cropped  002
    Michael G  about 2 months ago

    Do we need a shooting war to make people realize what’s going on? Oh, wait …

     •  Reply
  11. Little b
    Dani Rice  about 2 months ago

    A much wiser president than the Current Occupant once said, “A house divided against itself cannot stand”.

     •  Reply
  12. Tm logo
    The TM Premium Member about 2 months ago

    Trump (who must be connected to a container of never-ending crack) would say “The state of our union is the highest in history, believe me”, where “high” would actually mean all the lows that he has brought us. The longest government shutdown in US history? Shortest? Record numbers of people dying from opioids? Fewest? Etc…

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  13. Missing large
    StevenTorrey  about 2 months ago

    Nancy was right! When people read in the paper that the FBI looked into whether Trumpster was an unwitting Russian Agent, that needs to be addressed by the Trumpster before he can make a State of the Union Address.

     •  Reply
  14. Missing large
    WestNYC Premium Member about 2 months ago

    Only the media loves this divisiveness because it gives them something to do (sensationalize). It feeds their notion of self-importance.

     •  Reply
  15. Can flag
    Alberta Oil Premium Member about 2 months ago

    trump has encouraged tribalism since he falsely attacked Obama over his birth certificate. Little wonder the state of your union is as divided as it is. American democracy… where smoke and mirrors.. tons of money.. sway enough folk to let a absolutely non qualified fool win.

     •  Reply
  16. Americanflag
    Masterskrain Premium Member about 2 months ago

    trump = LOSER!!

    That’s going to he his legacy for ALL TIME!!!

     •  Reply
  17. Icon200908b
    Kip W  about 2 months ago

    Trump will appoint a head geologist to name it “The Democrats’ Fault.”

     •  Reply
  18. Plsa button
    Richard S Russell Premium Member about 2 months ago

    Those of interested in authentic fake news would like to know about the state of The Onion.

     •  Reply
  19. Tumblr mbbz3vrusj1qdlmheo1 250
    Night-Gaunt49  about 2 months ago

    I like the Onion. Best fake news around.

     •  Reply
  20. Maps little guy
    Radish Premium Member about 2 months ago

    Clowns to the left of me,

    Jokers to the right,

    here I am,

    Stuck in the middle with you.

     •  Reply
  21. Jock
    Godfreydaniel  about 2 months ago

    Trump has always had a sad, sick, pathethic need for cheers and applause, even though he’s never done anything in his life which deserves cheers and applause, and even though he simply isn’t capable of doing anything to deserve cheers and applause. Yet the sheep among the Republican in Congress (in other words, the Republicans in Congress) will, no doubt, cheer every lie, every imbecility, and every insanity in Trump’s speech, when and if he ever gives the damn thing. Conservative icon George Will, about the current head sheep Li’l Linsey Graham:

    In 2015, he said Donald Trump was a “jackass.” In February 2016, he said: “I’m not going to try to get into the mind of Donald Trump, because I don’t think there’s a whole lot of space there. I think he’s a kook, I think he’s crazy, I think he’s unfit for office.” And: “I’m a Republican and he’s not. He’s not a conservative Republican. He’s an opportunist.” Today, Graham, paladin of conservatism and scourge of opportunism, says building the border wall is an existential matter for the GOP: “If we undercut the president, that’s the end of his presidency and the end of our party.” ………..Seven times, Graham has taken the oath of congressional office, “solemnly” swearing to “support and defend the Constitution” and to “bear true faith and allegiance” to it, “without any mental reservation.” Graham, who is just 1 percent of one-half of one of the three branches of one of the nation’s many governments, is, however, significant as a symptom. When the Trump presidency is just a fragrant memory, the political landscape will still be cluttered with some of this president’s simple and empty epigones, the make-believe legislators who did not loudly and articulately recoil from the mere suggestion of using a declared emergency to set aside the separation of powers.
     •  Reply
  22. Schrodingers cat
    genome_project  about 2 months ago

    Trump thought that since he opened the government on Friday, he can give his SOTU this week. Nancy said no again, because it takes a while to restaff and make arrangements AFTER people get back to work.

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