Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 04, 2011

Transcript:

Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Hollywood Tales Charlie Sheen in "Rhymes With 'Winning'" Charlie: What?! My hit sitcom "Two and A Half Men" has been discontinued?! Charlie: What will I do with my talents now? CRASH Woman: HELP! Charlie: What's wrong? Woman: Charlie Sheen! My puppy was run over by a car! Charlie: I've got some extra time, so I'll heal it with, I don't know...my MIND?! Dog: WOOF! Charlie: Winning! Woman: Thank you, Charlie Sheen! Charlie: Uh-oh! More trouble! Man: HELP! Criminal #1: Give us your money! Criminal #2: Oh, no! It's Charlie Sheen! Charlie: That's right, trolls! Fire-breathing fists!! Criminal: AUGHH! Charlie: Hmm...maybe I can use my spare time helping out there! UNREST IN LIBYA Welcome to LIBYA Charlie: Deploying ordnance to the ground! Winning! Charlie: Ah, Lenny Dykstra and my ninja army of assassin porn actresses. Lenny: We'll take it from here, Charlie! And, back in L.A.... Charlie: OH, NO! Ugly wives and ugly children! HOLLYWOOD Charlie: Here, I'll turn your tin cans into GOLD so that you can buy a plasma TV and watch ME in "Major League"! ZAP RING Voice: Charlie Sheen! We want you back at "Two and a Half Men"! Charlie: Finally! I can use my tiger-blood powers FULLY! CBS Charlie: "You are wimpier than a..." LINE! Chaim: "Wet noodle!" Charlie: Thanks, Chaim. Winning! The End