Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for December 17, 2010
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Police Officer: Okay, "Mr. Wikileaks"! You've been convicted of espionage! Hope you enjoy your new home! HAW! HAW! CLANG Bob Woodward: Assange! Welcome to the big house! it's a pretty tough crowd in here -- yer gonna need plenty of friends! Julian Assange: Who...? Julian Assange: BOB WOODWARD! Bob Woodward: Yeah. I've been in here since '73, when we pulled off the Watergate racket! Bob Woodward: I'll introduce you to my gang -- the most incorrigible bunch of distributors of leaked classified information in all of cell block 8! Bob Woodward: Seymour "Knuckles" Hersh...Daniel "Butterfingers" Ellsberg...Carl "Hates Democracy" Bernstein. Tom Brokaw: Who's the fresh meet, Woody? Bob Woodward: Tom Brokaw! N-now, Assange just got here! Tom Brokaw: Just make sure he knows the exercise yard weights are mine! Julian Assange: Whew! Tough gang, Woodward! Bob Woodward: Hell, we've got decades-worth of PUBLISHERS who have disseminated leaks! Bob Woodward: Rupert "The Fox" Murdoch..."Punch" Sulzberger...Robert "The Rat" Iger...Jack "Welcher" Welch... NEXT on "Hard News, Hard Time": Julian Assange: You just published stuff TOP officials WANTED leaked! Rupert Murdoch: Are you saying I'm not hardcore? Punch Sulzberger: Shiv 'im, Fox! "Aussie Fight!"
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