Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 27, 2010
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling The continuing adventures of... BAD FETUSES* This week - "ODIOUS in the UTERUS" *Formerly, "Bad Feti" Fetus: You can't stop our prenatal plots! In an abandoned gynecology center in the Dominican Republic, the three evil fetuses use sonograms to scheme against America! Fetus #1: Okay, do you understand your missions? Fetus #2: ¡Si, claro! Fetus #3: Allah willing! Fetus: Bad Mexican Fetus: report! Bad Mexican Fetus: Si. I enter the U.S., get born and thus become a U.S. citizen! ¡ARRIBA, ARRIBA! Fetus: That's right! It's guaranteed under the 14th amendment! Silly Americans... We strike them where they're weakest: their constitution! Fetus: Bad Muslim Fetus? Bad Muslim Fetus: I also enter the U.S. to be born. Then, as a U.S. citizen, I can wreak all kinds of havoc... ...even open a community center! Fetus: ...which the fools must allow under their 1st amendment! Ha! We'll use ALL their amendments against them! BAM What's that?! Agent #1: F.BI.! FREEZE! POW ARGH! Agent #2: It'll be the DEATH PENALTY for you! Fetus: Ha! Not a chance! It'll never stick! Agent #1: Why not? Fetus: Giving us the death penalty would be...state-funded abortion! Agent #2: He's right! Once again, defeated by our own lofty principles! Next: Bad Gay Fetus demands the right to marry! Bad Gay Fetus: That's right! I CHOSE to be gay IN UTERO!
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