Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for March 05, 2010
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Dr. Harrigan & Dr. Bahar's Particle Collider Probability Shifter While trying to conduct an experiment with our particle collider, we found increasingly unlikely circumstances preventing us from competing it. Dr. Harrigan: The wire came loose...again! Dr. Bahar: Weird. We realized that the outcome of the experiment must be so abhorrent to the physical laws of nature that, even if we completed it, it would send ripples BACK IN TIME TO PREVENT ITS COMPLETION! Dr. Bahar: Let's go. Dr. Harrigan: The experiment was a success! Dr. Bahar: Let's check the results! Dr. Harrigan: The wire came loose...again! Dr. Bahar: Weird! ? BOTTOM LINE: WE CAN NOW TOTALLY MANIPULATE THE LAWS OF PROBABILITY! Dr. Harrigan: We shall now perform the particle collider experiment by pressing this button! Dr. Bahar: Unless an albino pirate juggling otters shows up! Pirate: Ahoy, matys! Dr. Bahar: THAT was unlikely! HOW CAN THIS WORK FOR YOU?! Man: I got that promotion over Davis -- he was hit by a meteor! Man: I won the trifecta! Because two of the horses spontaneously combusted! Man: I married Teri Hatcher! Teri: Yeah, exactly how DID that happen? Woman: My Spanish quiz got postponed! Due to a wildebeest stampede! Send $3,000 to: DR. HARRIGAN AND DR. BAHAR'S PARTICLE COLLIDER PROBABILITY SHIFTER, L.L.C. P.O. Box 123 Geneva, Switz. Name Address I want to happen WARNING: We cannot be held responsible unintended spontaneous combustions. Offer does not apply to the New York Mets making the playoffs.
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