Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for January 12, 2008
Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Man: Hey, I ordered this Coke with no ice! Waiter: Oh, sorry! Man: I said, "No ice" very clearly, Bozo! Waiter: Yes, sir. Man #2: Sh! Man: What! Man #2: He'll spit in our food! Waiter: Ha, ha! Actually, sir, I most certainly will not! Waddy McPhlegmster's Our Pledge: We Will NOT Spit In Your Food. Say what you will about the quality of our food, or the possibility of drug transactions in our bathrooms. At Waddy McPhlegmster's, we will NOT spit in your food. Have our competitors made that pledge? "Where should we go to dinner tonight?" "How about the place where they don't spit in your food?" "Yay!" While Waddy McPhlegmster's (TM) and its employees have no specific intention to urinate, wipe sweat or otherwise cause bodily fluids to be excreted into its customers' food servings, such actions are explicitly not included in the Waddy McPhlegmster's Pledge. The Waddy McPhlegmster's Pledge is not valid in Michigan or Alabama.
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