Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for June 03, 2000

Transcript:

THE KNIGHT SHADOW Coming to CBS this fall! In his own gruff-but-lovable way, Coach Bobby Knight teaches his kids basketball--and LIFE! BK: Come in, Harris. Harris: Coach, I feel like I'm not trying hard enough in practice. BK: #%*@ that! This is an EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY at an ACADEMIC INSTITUTION! Harris: urk. BK: Now, go take your girlfriend out for a pizza! If caring is a crime, he's GUILTY! BK: @#*% you, ref! You can't call a foul on jonesy! His parents are divorcing, and he's feeling vulnerable! He may lose his temper, but he'll never lose an opportunity to TEACH! BK: ...And we'll screen out Manicotti for the game-ending shot! Manicotti: Coach, I'm the worst player on the team! BONK BK: EVERYBODY gets a chance on my #@*& team! Now, get out there and TRY! He's ALWAYS thinking of ways to inspire his kids! BK: Hmm... What PROP could I use to demonstrate the WIPING AWAY of negative thoughts?... And he doesn't take any bunk from the university trustees. BK: Well, you can kis my pimply white #@**! What do you think this IS--Some kind of... Multimillion-dollar MONEY MACHINE that exploits young athletes by labeling them STUDENTS while treating them like INDENTURED SERVANTS?!