Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling for August 09, 1998

Transcript:

tom the dancing bug presents: news of the times political system to shed governing functions freeing america's overburdened political system of unnecessary duties, its legislative and executive functions will be removed starting next year. we can finally focus on what we're good at... ...staring sincerely into cameras and uttering platitudes. 3 new branches of federal gvt.: political legislative, executive judiciary actual policy decisions, and law making and enforcement, will be handled out of a basement apartment in potomac, Md. senator allen wellington: i was elected because of my dignified gray hair and ability to squeeze millions of dollars out of corporations. what would make anyone think i give a rat's patoot about welfare reform? politicians immediately launched into the type of who-wins, who-loses analysis they are honed to excell at and can now exclusively practice. i see the democrats gaining 20 seats in the house because of this. no way! now that we republicans are no longer burdened with our stances on the issues, we'll win more seats and the presidency! political analyst rich mcrae: released of the responsibilities of governing, democrats and republicans will be able to intensify their struggle for power. the political season will now be composed of televised debates about election predictions, hearings on sexual practices, and a year-end game of capture-the-flag. the republicans are going to lose! we're writing this really great fight song! woo!! democrats! number one!