The Elderberries by Corey Pandolph and Phil Frank and Joe Troise for March 20, 2005
The General: Gentlemen..listen up! This is a Model 120...fully-automatic remote control unit. Man: Hey! I called dibs on it! Man 2: It's my turn... The General: No way, Jose!! This potentially dangerous device has been put in my hands as part of a peacekeeping mission. Okay...let's get a consensus. Who wants to watch what? Man: NASCAR! Man 2: NBA! Man 3: John Wayne movie! Man 4: Masterpiece theatre!! Man 5: Six Feet Under! Man 6: Sopranos! The General: At ease! I intend to implement a conflict resolution here! Jump ball! Man: Mine! Man 2: I've got it!