The Buckets by Greg Cravens for April 07, 2014
Transcript:
Prospective members of the jury- the prosecution and defense well now ask you some questions. Some of you will be dismissed, as we seat only twelve of you as jurors. Everyone else will return to the jury pool... For cake and ice cream. I am lying about the cake and ice cream. I'd just get so sick of everyone looking like deer in the headlights all the time.
I used to be exempt from jury duty as I am self-employed, no employees. The law changed.
Mostly I have had call in and check if you are called jury duty. I would rather be told to come in as I can’t make any appointments for the 2 weeks as I don’t like to make appointments with clients and cancel the night before, so they tell me to go to work, but I can’t.
The one time I actually had to go in was mid tax season (I am an accountant). I went, I figured if all else failed I could say, honestly, I would vote the most expedient way so I could go back to work. (At that time, and maybe even now all juries were sequested in this state, so I could not even work at night.) I was pretty sure I would not be seated on a jury as I am an accountant (too exacting for attorneys to seat), my dad was a lawyer and I worked with him and I went to law school, missing the last year (too likely to think I know about the law) so I would not be seated on a jury. I also brought a book I happened to be reading on Henry II (Britain) who developed the jury system as it originally was (as opposed to our current one). I was called to go in for a case. As I listened to the description in the jury room I realized it was extremely close to an injury occurred at one of my clients and was sure I would not be picked. I was not.
Husband was in a jury pool and did not mention, as no one asked, that I was the accountant for the law firm of one of the attorneys as he figured the longer he stayed there, the less chance he would be put in another jury pool. They actually ended up dismissing him as he has to use the men’s room every 45 min or so as he is diabetic and at the time was still getting it under control.
Did you know that one cannot bring embroidery scissors to jury duty to use with one’s embroidery?