The Argyle Sweater by Scott Hilburn for September 30, 2022

  1. Zooey girl
    ronaldspence  4 months ago

    especially if there is a salt shaker near…

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  2. The rat
    Ratkin  4 months ago

    It only happens when the S-car-goes too fast.

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  3. Groucho
    Jayalexander  4 months ago

    In Senior housing between any room and the toilet.

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  4. 654px red eyed tree frog   litoria chloris edit1
    Superfrog  4 months ago

    Reading the snail mail.

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  5. Bigboycrop
    BigBoy  4 months ago

    Watch that slippery spot just behind you

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    gammaguy  4 months ago

    Pretty well guaranteed, if you carry your home with you wherever you go.

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    PraiseofFolly  4 months ago

    All that’s needed is a framed sampler on the wall: “Home Slime Home”.

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  8. Comics 2022
    Meg: All Seriousness Aside  4 months ago

    Duh. Even for non-turtles and snails, every trip one takes has at least part of it (possibly all) within a mile from home. It’s like saying “50% of people die within three months of their birthday.”

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  9. Mrpeabodyboysherman
    iggyman  4 months ago

    Snailed it!

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    uniquename  4 months ago

    Especially if there’s some cooking oil and a frying pan around.

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    Lee26 Premium Member 4 months ago

    And, if you have ‘dashing’ pets, you don’t even have to leave your house.

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  12. Saxon
    Nuliajuk  4 months ago

    Levitating newspapers!

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    DM2860  4 months ago

    I also read that 90% of all driving takes place in the same range. So relative to the amount of time spent there, accidents are lower within the 1 mile.

    But still put our seatbelt on before leaving the driveway.

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    the lost wizard  4 months ago

    The investigations proceed at a snail’s pace. :)

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  15. Facepalm bear 2
    Lablubber   4 months ago

    Even closer if you live in Paris.

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    PaulGoes  4 months ago

    That’s why I always stay away from home

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  17. Get smart shoe phone
    gopher gofer  4 months ago

    the news left them shell-shocked…

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  18. Misty morning
    SavannahJim Premium Member 4 months ago

    Waaaay closer for certain demographics… Snails, mollusks in general, turtles and tortoises, hermit crabs…

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  19. Sulky chatin
    cwg  4 months ago

    And nobody questions the fact he’s levitating the newspaper.

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