The model did not want people to see his short comings.
I see this artist has hit rock bottom.
Buns of Steel: the TMI edition.
“I could’ve sworn there was a sower here somewhere.”
Whenever he was working with this artist, Mark always made sure to bring his ‘exit only’ sign.
THE NUDE COLOSSUS
Just like the brazen giant old Greeks made.
With naked limbs in fifth position posed;
Here at our gates (to immigrants now closed).
A mighty he-man with a sword, whose blade
Is the sharp edge of reason, now betrayed.
Chauvinist’s Father, here he stands exposed.
Prepared to put some pants on in a raid…
when she said she loved someone with rosie cheeks, he completely misunderstood!
The image looks aged and distressed from having been kept for several years in the artist’s wallet.
/// This poor model is not fond of pranks.
He had heard he’d be getting Men’s Spanx.
Now he thinks it was rude
that he’s not only nude,
but repeatedly smacked on his “flanks.”
You have to admit, that’s one why to keep your clothes clean when you’re clearing out cobwebs.
Humanity is so lucky that we were endowed with opposable cheeks!
I must admit I’m more intrigued by the artist’s surname, Alchimowicz.
“TAXI!” Blast it. That’s the fourth one that’s driven right by. “RACIST!”
Behold the artist’s friend, Maury
Depicted “a posteriori”..
At the artist’s behest
We’ll seek no further, lest
We discover “the rest of the story”.
“Butt soft – what light through yonder window breaks?”
Two rosy cheeks – like two rare, juicy steaks…
Yet ‘tis no “Juliet” – it is a “Jules”!
Coyly concealing his most precious jewels
He bids the drooling painter to reveal
Two buns – which are the farthest thing from steel…
Complete with tented toga?
rejected soundtrack album cover for back to the future…
I am so glad for that change.
They didn’t call Marc “Rosy Cheeks” for nothin’.
This painting is sorely in need of Baumgartner Restorations!
He’s painting himself into a corner – leaving himself quite exposed.
I’m so mad! That really chaps my ass.
“Objects in the rear view may appear grosser than they are”—apologies to Meat Loaf
Later that evening, Sir Galahad returned to Castle Anthrax, lied to Zoot, and accepted his punishment.
WMD white man’s disease, also known as skinny saggy butt syndrome
“You’re looking at my butt, aren’t you. I know you are…”
Whittier to illustrator: “They’re supposed to be tan, and anyway those aren’t the cheeks I was talking about.”
The model is seen from the back / His head with hair curly and black / With back coyly turned / “Full Monty” be spurned / All we get is some nasty crack!
Larry never objected to a good paddling when he deserved it but being made to stand in the corner was a punishment too far.
With one staff in hand and another “at stand”, Larry prepared to travel the old dirt road wherever it might lead.
They always call Joe a smart ass!
The “barefoot boy with cheeks of tan” grew up to be the naked man with butt that sags.
Without a robe, there will be some winter shrinkage.
After this publicity still of sticking your left foot in was released the naked version of the Hokey Pokey never really caught on.
/// Certain scrutinies nobody seeks,
even if they have perfect physiques.
Of course, he’s embarrassed
displayed here, erm… bare assed,
all the blood rushing down to his cheeks!
Nude of a standing man, back view:
(best viewed with Google Chrome, which can automatically translate most webpages if necessary) has info and links that point to more info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.
Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image at
I have added a comment there (awaiting Mr. Melcher’s approval) pointing to the artist info I used to point to here. First work by this artist used here.
The hoplite decided that he’d hop lighter if he ditched the armor and shield.
More like Larry liberated.
— We all have bodies.
Is anyone satisfied
with the one they have?
soap in eyes’ i know the shower is around here somewere.
There was a bit of embarrassment, as just last night he turned down Kazimierz at the gay bar.
When will the women of physical and natural sciences create clothes for me? This is taking forever!
/// He was asked of religion by friends.
“Am I spiritual? It depends.
Our bodies, so fine,
stem from something divine—
a divinity that shapes our ends.”
boy, those cheeks sure are rosy!
/// He could claim he was stung by a viper,
but he knows he should just “pay the piper.”
The red glow on his cheeks
of which everyone speaks
is a rash in the shape of a diaper.
This page happened to show up alongside a Jennifer Fisher ad. The juxtaposition implies a shift change in the models’ schedules: one’s coming in “Hi, Jen!”- as the other’s dressing to leave—“All yours.”
He’s been in the Hot Seat.
The subject is viewed from behind / In his “Adam and Eve” state of mind (!) / His mother, quite bent / Said “That’s NOT what I meant / When I told you to ‘rise and shine’!”