That is Priceless by Steve Melcher for January 22, 2020

The Scotsman was good enough to entertain the English but not good enough to sit at the table with them.

“I’m sorry but if I had any aspirins I’d be scarfing them down myself right now.”

“Yes, the elephant turd is a lovely choice for a centerpiece (compared to the music, anyway).”

“I swear that wasn’t me. T’was the piper!”

Is that a haggis on top of that epergne?

I like the sound of bagpipes. They always seem to get a bad rap.

We have him play at dinner to frighten the vermin from the room.

the vuvuzela combo was booked so they had to settle for the bagpiper…

“He blows a mean bagpipes. I like his Bix repertoire, but I wish he knew some Brubeck!”

http://www.museumofanimatedpaintings.org/artwork.aspx?id=47

“Who made this seating chart? Boy,girl,boy,girl…, why can’t 2 girls get together and, …, well, …, you know.”

The Scots use the bagpipe for their military, for marching music.

They weren’t much good for marching TO war, but they were great for the retreat.

Madam Humphrey turned to SIr Johnson, “I see you decided to forgo the traditional violinist and go for something more avant garde. You always were a rebel.”

“Yes Dear, it’s called Haggis, but there is no way to tell if it’s gone bad….it always taste like this!”

Don’t you just love how every woman in the picture is gazing adoringly at some man while every man in the picture is pontificating grandly to some woman? I just love the rich fantasy of the artistic imagination.

“Ask Uncle Morris to tell you the story. Last year, during bagpiper season, he went hunting and bagged that fine specimen. So of course we had it stuffed and mounted; we do that with all of Uncle’s trophies.”

“I’m terribly sorry about this Lord Hardbottom, but the cellist couldn’t come, we can’t find the fiddler, and the harpist has herpes. This was the best we could do on such short notice.”

“It was him or the accordionist”.

Don’t you just love these new “Family Style” restaurants? HEY! PASS THE CHICKEN DOWN THIS END!!

Bagpiper, damned near invisible back in the corner…

Well, when you serve Haggis and Ginger Beer you might as well hang out a sign: Bagpipers welcome!

When he stands at your shoulder to serve, be careful turning your head.

Dinner at Haddo House: 

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/art/detail.php?id=101230 

has info and links that point to info about this roughly jumbo envelope size painting.

http://www.artcyclopedia.com/artists/emslie_alfred_edward.html 

https://www.the-athenaeum.org/people/detail.php?ID=5429 

https://www.npg.org.uk/collections/search/person/mp06940/alfred-edward-emslie 

https://www.whistler.arts.gla.ac.uk/correspondence/people/biog/?bid=Emsl_AE&initial=E 

https://prabook.com/web/alfred.emslie/2567376 

all have info, or links that point to more info, about this artist, perhaps in addition to what’s pointed to by the title URL. This is the first work by him used here.

Again, a larger strip image is shown by (⌘- or Ctrl-) clicking the image in Mr. Melcher’s MASTERPIECE #2367 (January 21, 2020) blog entry, accessible by the Check out the blog! box after the last comment.

Well, blowin’ that bagpipe, that’s my bagHu-huffin’ and a-puffin’ on my bagpipe bagWheezin’ and a-blowin’ ‘til my big fat floppy jowls sagMake it sound like a train comin’ over the trestleIf I blowed it any harder, I could bust a blood vesselBlowin’ that bagpipe bag — OW! That’s my bag [Bagpipes (That’s My Bag) by Ray Stevens]

The family of Haddo house was happy to have found a way to enforce the “no politics during dinner” rule.

Love bagpipes! —-OUTSIDE.

The Pied Piper refusing to leave the dining hall until he got paid.

“If anybody complains about my cooking, the bagpiper starts playing. Let that be a warning.”

There’s always a nest of 10-12 more you have to find to get rid of them.

Lady Cynthia hitting up lord David for a tip on the purchase of life insurance before meeting him in the card room for a little romp.

Speaking as a piper with decades of experience and many prizes to show for my efforts:

There are far too many people who get a set of bagpipes, work to the point where they can play a few tunes, and those poorly, and think they are ready to perform in public. They go out, poorly tuned, and play in public, and even hire out to do weddings and funerals.

If a piano player or a guitar player did that, people would listen and say, “Well, they aren’t very good.” They’d say, “They need to practice more.” With bagpipes, people say, “Bagpipes suck.” They’ve been lead by cartoonists and comedians to believe that bagpipe music is bad. We are a stock go-to when cartoonists ( and no, not the creator of this charming series ) run out of ideas. Bagpipes crop up periodically in Non Sequitur, for instance, and many others.

We pipers make and enjoy jokes about ourselves, and we can take it from others with the best of them. We understand that the sound of the pipes isn’t enjoyed by everyone. No instrument is universally enjoyed. The sad thing is the lack of respect, and knowledge.

For those who would like a better understanding of what good piping sounds like:

A quick sampling of current solo pipers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLndgaZukng

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GtK8lMu3WSg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z42_jpL8SSQ

A sampling of great bands:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t20Tju4QrN0

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Up5pTs_WKQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcwI37AYLwI

(In this clip first comes the band’s reaction to winning the world’s championship, followed by the performance that won it for them.)

Besides SFU (Simon Fraser University), Field Marshall Montgomery, and St. Laurence O’Toole, other great bands are the 78th Fraser Highlanders, Shotts and Dykehead, and Inverary and District.

For soloists, I suggest you look up recordings of Jim McGillivray, Alasdair Gillies, Colin MacLellan, Gordon Walker, William McCallum, and Jack Lee.

Cheers!

“Most unusual to hear a Mozart violin concerto played on the bagpipes. And the Charles Ives piece was astonishing.”

Must be a “Burns Night” event celebrating the Scottish poet Robert Burns and his “Address to a Haggis”.