Ted Rall for April 10, 2019

I wish.

My secret evil deed is that whenever I am boarding I “accidentally” have my carry-on bump/bang into as many first classers as I can.

So Ted…did you have a good flight?

But no overpaid CEOs of said helping professions, and TV talking heads are not journalists.

I really don’t fly much but I did go to DC for a Labor Day March We walked behind Flight Attendants & Pilots on the trip Home We were treated like Kings with all the Booze, Steak and Goodies We wanted it was nice to be King for a Day

I’d be happy if they boarded rear to front. The “group” thing doesn’t seem to work very well. If I were in first class, I’d want to board last.

I like this idea. And it could be faster, given that first class passengers block access to the rest of the plane when boarding. I say this as a frequent business traveler, who is happy to take the privileges of boarding earlier so I can get settled in and stash my bags (one under the seat, one in the overhead, NO MORE), but with the full understanding of how annoying it can be for everyone else.

If airlines made it easier or cheaper to store bags, it would also help, since this nickel-and-diming they do now just encourages/forces people to carry on more bags, which in turn makes it slower to get on, more crowded, and creates delays when people realize they have to check their bags anyway.

The really rich people fly by their own jet. And no, I don’t think that all rich people are bad and all low-income workers are good people. There are just as many morons among people of every social level. For sure, I’d prefer to meet Bill Gates or Obama instead of, say, rip_marco.

These tales of impending doom allowed the Golgafrinchans to rid themselves of an entire useless third of their population. The story was that they would build three Ark ships. Into the A ship would go all the leaders, scientists and other high achievers. The C ship would contain all the people who made things and did things, and the B Ark would hold everyone else, such as hairdressers and telephone sanitisers. They sent the B ship off first, but of course, the other two-thirds of the population stayed on the planet and lived full, rich and happy lives until they were all wiped out by a virulent disease contracted from a dirty telephone.

The B Ark had a captain who spent all his time in the bath, and two security guards -the overly-militant Number Two and the mellower Number One. The ship was programmed to crash-land on their destination planet, which is prehistoric Earth.

From: The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Book the Sixth.

Rich babe with an emotional support dog shouldn’t be last.

In this society, money does buy privilege. Get over it. Privilege, however, doesn’t… well, shouldn’t … give the right to break the law or even be ruder than, say, a store clerk.

The only sensible system is to board by row number starting at the rear. I never understood why it is done otherwise.

Some union reps are definitely in the “rich” category. Some of those working for charities are rich also – just because you work for a charity doesn’t mean you are working for free!

Unfortunately the rich pigs own the airlines.

So, the “rich pigs” are emotional support animals?