Ted Rall for February 27, 2013
Studies show that employers discriminate against the unemployed, viewing them as incompetent and unhirable. Don't get left behind... Fake it until you make it! No job to get lured away from? Not anymore! Give prospective bosses that tasty & irresistible "we stole her from the competition" experience with our customized fake job package. If you got serverance our premium placement service is a great way to invest in your future. We get you a no-work "job" at a real company. (Man: The New York Times said you were Google's best-ever S.V.P. of Kewl!?) (Woman: David Carr is too kind...) For an extra fee, we'll arrange a breathless puff piece about you and your fake job. After you get hired away by a bona fide company, evidence of your fake-it-until-you-make-it job vanishes ina way designed to make you smell positively rose-ish. (Man 2: The google community mourns those lost in the tragic, records destroying explosion at it's kewlness division... it all went to hell after Andrea left.) Call now: All major Credit cards a-ok! In a world without decency, it ain't cheating... it's eating!