Ted Rall for March 28, 2012
Democrats and democratic front groups like moveon.org are trying to channel the occupy movement back into the system with such "astroturf" actions as "occupy schemes can we look forward to next? Occupy the police: 99%ers became cops so they can attack fellow Occupiers with watered-down, organic locally made, sustainable pepper spray. (Man: Thanks!) Occupy the Boardroom: 99%ers get MBAs work their way up to CEO, then use their secret Proletarian Power to effect change. (Man: I propose we reduce greed profits by 2%. Who's with me? Occupy SuperPACs: 99%ers donate to SuperPACs which back corporate mainstreem candidates who share the values of hte 99%. (Man: Good news: We have billions to give to a deserving candidate. Bad news: No deserving candidate would run under this system.) Occupy the 1% who are occupying the 99%: Using magical Upward Mobility beans, 99%ers became rich, benevolent oppressors. (Man: Dudes! I'm totally foreclosing on you.But good news: The Decemberists will play live on your former front lawn!