Ted Rall for January 03, 2008
What if Mike Huckabee were a fundamentalist Hindu? I believe in traditional cosmology. The earth is held up by four elephants, which stand on a turtle, which is balanced on a cobra. Obviously. Decision 2008 BC. Commentators would give his beliefs a fair hearing. Feminist extremists are attacking Huckabee - just because he wants his wife to leap into his funeral pyre! He's running for president, not professor of women's studies! His affable personality and weight-loss skills would be enough to convince voters. He excludes optimism. He's witty. So what if he recoiled in horror at the human waste that are the untouchables? Anyone who called him a lunatic would be out of bounds. My fellow Americans, the earthquake was caused by the shifting of the great cobra. Please join me in a ritual chant.