Ted Rall for November 25, 2000
Campaigns of the future: Romancing the one Man 1: Tonight we join the morse campaign as the senator courts key voter Kevin Matthews in his Delaware home. Man 2: I could really use a beer. Man 3: Well see. Talk first. Man 2: As a swing voter, you'll determine Hillside County which throws the state and ultimately the whole election one way or the other. Without you, I end up as an honorary professor at Missoula University. What can I do to get your vote? Man 3: You can start by paving my bills, and get me a new car. Also, it would be really cool if I could invite all my buds to the white house, get loaded on cheap beer and trash the joint! Man 2: Done. Hot damn! I'm 2 minutes late to Becky Jonson's house! Man 3: If it's raining, I don't have to go vote, right? Man 1: Will Ms. Jackson get her dream club med vacation for her key vote? That's next!