Ted Rall for November 11, 2000
Election history I have killed the chief. Therefore, I am chief. Okey-Dokey. The king fell out a window. I am the king's son. Accordingly, I am king. I'll get the word out, your new highness. The king has been executed. From now on, a revolutionary council will lead us to democracy. If those guys are gonna sue, we're gonna file appeals across the board to make sure we get our guy in. Given that the manatee county ballot structure violates section 12(5)(c) of the state code, we're filing an injunction to declare our man president. I am rich and my opponent is ugly. The people have spoken; thus, I am president.