Ted Rall for August 23, 1999

Transcript:

In a move certain to devastate the U.S. political establishment, warren hodge has dropped out of the 2036 presidential race. (Man: After consulting with my girlfriend and my guidance counselor, I have decided not to seek the presidency.) Hodge (D-oh) made his decision after he was passed over for a night manager position at a waffle house near the I-75/I-675 junction. (Man: Getting turned down for this promotion means that I won't save enough money to attend an ivy league college where my roommates would be wealthy contributors to my campaign when I'm 54 years old. It wouldn't be fair to those future supporters to run an unwinnable race when I'm doomed by age 17.) Party leaders encouraged hodge to reconsider, but his focus groups were clear: his bid was hopeless. (Man 2: You were our best chance for '36- this means 5 consecutive republican terms!) (Man 3: Quit whining! You'll have a democratic majority congress from '06 to '28.) With 2036 behind us, what's ahead for 2040? (Man 4: Well, Hodge would've won re-election, no problem.) (Man 5: Don't be too sure- what about his predilection for ignoring domestic policy?)