Ted Rall for June 24, 1999
Transcript:
Yo, white liberals! Get guilt-free street cred with Chet's African American rent-a-friend (Man 1: Hi, I'm Dave and I'm African-American. Call now to find out how to end that uncomfortable I-like-blacks-but-don't-know-any-personally feeling!) Imagine yourself dissing your Republican freinds! (Man 2: You have black friends? Don't you live in a gated community!?) (Man 1: Back off, MOFO! Sven here is my main homey: he took 6 bullets in compton for me!*) (*downscale jargon add 15% fee) Experience the black life firsthand! (Man 3: But there was 9 minutes left on the meter!) (Man 4: Who's first?) Your African-American rent-a-friend bridges the race gap! (Man 3: Someday there'll be a black president. It's just that no qualified black candidates have run yet.) (Man 1: I agree- I'm paid to agree.) Best of all, our high fees are the ultimate in affirmative action! (Man 3: $602.46 for 2 hours?!) (Man 1: Consider it redistribution of wealth. I'm late for my yoga class.)