Ted Rall for February 15, 1999
Transcript:
American Pledge of Allegiance (Postmodern Post-Clinton Edition) I pledge, assuming that circumstances permit, allegiance to the piece of cloth or burning used as a symbol, standard and/or emblem of the United States of America and its successors and assignees (depending, however, on how one opts to define the word "allegiance") and to the cult of personality for which it stands, one member of the North American Free Trading Bloc under the monotheistic deity of my choice, divisible only by race, religion, gender, sexual orientation and socioeconomic status, as the case may be with liberty (unless exercising of such liberty causes offense) and justice (it being acceptable to break any and all laws to obtain such justice) for all citizens and some resident aliens. The terms of this offer may be revoked at any time without notice.