Ted Rall for May 28, 1998
Transcript:
In a stunning display of diplomatic dexterity, Israeli president Benjamin Netanyahu was proposed a 413% troop withdrawal from the occupied west bank. (Man: Labor offers 14%... we were offering 12%... now Likud has the biggest baddest peace plan of all! It's over 31 times more peace... 31 times more love- and only we've got it!) Under the plan, Israel would pull 13% of its soldiers out of the west bank. Then Israel itself would be 100% demilitarized by withdrawing into three neighboring nations. Meanwhile, the P.L.O. has pushed it's own peace plan based on a logarithmic progression of the Pythagorean theorem calculated by a Saudi supercomputer. (Man: Any redistribution of land that fails to take lagrangian differences into account will lead to mathematical instability and endless bloodshed!) American officials are currently studying both plans. (Bill Clinton: I shouldn't have gotten so stoned during math class. I'm stuck.) (Man: Aren't you supposed to carry the 2?) (Man: Let's revisit those education budget cuts)