Ted Rall for December 13, 1997
Transcript:
Child: I don't get it! Math sucks! I'm not doing it and you can't make me! Man: Do you have this problem? Are your kids bad at math? You've tried hooked on phonics. You've tried hooked on math. Now try hooked on brutality! For just $99, we'll tell you how to beat the excretions out of your child. Learn about geometric garroting and trigonometric torture! Child: God, no.... Man: You'll see results immediately! Just use your legally sanctioned right to inflict corporal punishment over and over and over again. Traditional teaching relies on repetition and cajoling- and it's led to cruddy SAT scores! Hooked on brutality is exciting, effective and -best of all- brutal! Child: It worked for Stephen Hawking- it'll work for you! Hooked on brutality operators are standing by now!