Ted Rall for December 12, 1997
Blood is messy. Guts are icky. But in America's consumer-based military, you can be all you can be... for a fee! No more horrifying shrieks of agony from the dying. No more bone fragments littering the ground. Now anyone with a checkbook can enjoy all of the advantages of military services without the muss and fuss of friendly fire! All you have to do is pick up the phone. Choose from any of these popular selections: This could be you! Yes! I'd like to buy some cheap glory for big bucks. Put me down for: Hey Ted Turner: for $1 billion, the United States will declare war against anyone you want!