Ted Rall for April 05, 1997
Man 1: Bad news, sir. It started this morning when french rail employees went on strike over overtime. Then Florida teachers walked off the job in sympathy. Afterwards Zairian miners took to the streets, inspiring japanese civil servants and dutch college professors. Labor unrest spread like wildfire, and as of lunchtime 99% of the world's workers had abandoned their posts. With the global economy at a standstill. Financial markets collapsed. Hundreds of millions of starving people brought down every single government. A mob is down in the lobby demanding your head on a stick. Man 2: But all this new global economy free trade stuff was supposed to be for us! Man 1: We'll revisit it after your funeral, sir.