Ted Rall for December 05, 1996
Santa Claus: What do you want for Christmas, little boy? Man: Peace, the end of hunger and all sickness. Santa Claus: You vile little thug! Your blow against crass commercialism is an attack on America! Look- this country doesn't make anything anymore. The only way we can make a living is to sell other people's merchandise. When you fail to encourage consumer spending- especially during the holidays- you're boycotting. The only means most Americans have of putting food in their mouths! Abstract ideals like peace and responsible for untold misery! Now: What do you want for Christmas? Man: Um...a porche? Woman: I'd like everyone to be happy. Santa Claus: God, I hate kids.