Stuart Carlson for June 17, 1997
Watergate 25th Anniversary Souvenirs: A taped collection of each #@#$^^%&$@ (expletive deleted uttered by Nixon). A deluxe 12-volume library of every scandal tagged with the suffix "gate," The Woodward & Bernstein snow globe tip it over and it repeats the phrase, "the system worked." Deep throat mouthwash leaves your mouth minty- fresh- no dirty tricks! Commemorative T-shirt, my president resigned and all I got was this lousy feeling of disillusionment.