Rubes by Leigh Rubin for October 28, 2021

The dog didn’t know New Math?

If she ever owned a dog she’ll buy it

Way back in the antediluvian when I had that kind of homework (and no backpack, either) the teacher wouldn’t accept that excuse: If your dog is a homework chewer, then keep it out of you work area. In fact none of my teachers EVER accepted ANY excuse unless it was accompanied by a parental note. With a signature that matched the one on file. I got a pass for being too sick to sit up, and my brother got a ONE DAY extension when he had to be sewn up after skidding his bike into the bob wire fence on the outside of the corner he was taking at too high a speed.

Nathan for student body president!

He brought the evidence along.

I dare you to examine the evidence.

Fine. If your homework was so indigestible, then you still get an F.

gotta give him an A for effort……

I made my homework into a paper airplane but it got hijacked.

Thanks for the honesty, but that was part of the assignment.

You must make sure that your homework does not get eaten.

My brain never agreed with my homework either. Lots of constipation

Didn’t really learn the lesson, but can regurgitate the material…

Worse “Show & Tell” ever

I once worked in a restaurant and a woman claimed that she bit into a sandwich with a bone and part of her tooth broke off. We turned it over to our insurance company. They asked for proof but she said she had spit it out into the kitchen trash can. The told her they couldn’t compensate her without proof so she shipped them the entire kitchen bag of trash to sort through it themselves. Wrong move. Claim denied.

Calculus has the same effect on me.

This works if it was a cooking class.

He gave it a really poor grade.

Give him a middling grade. Call it C food.

With a little work on presentation, Nathan has the makings of a future defense attorney.

One of nuns called my bluff, got my knuckles whacked good.