Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 02, 2022

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    stevesilver48  4 months ago

    Hey now, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not! fans! Continuing my latest theme, here’s some more quips about music and its participants:

    George Melly to Mick Jagger: “Why is your face was so wrinkled?”“Laughter lines.” Jagger said. “Nothing’s that funny.” Said Melly whoever he is.

    “A gentleman is someone who knows how to play the banjo – and doesn’t.” Mark Twain

    “Hades is full of musical amateurs. Music is the brandy of the darned.”George Bernard Shaw

    “The typewriter, when played with expression, is no more annoying than the piano when played by a sister or near relation.” Oscar Wilde

    “Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.” Noël Coward

    “He has Van Gogh’s ear for music.” Billy Wilder about actor Cliff Ormond

    Elwood: “What kind of music do you usually have here?”Claire: “Oh, we got both kinds. We got country and western.”From The Blues Brothers

    “The inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm.”Alfred Hitchcock

    “Do I listen to pop music because I’m miserable or am I miserable because listen to pop music?”John Cusack as Rob Gordon in High Fidelity

    “Brass bands are all very well in their place – outdoors and several miles away.” English conductor Sir Thomas Beecham

    Q: “What’s the difference between a conductor and God?”A: “God doesn’t think he’s a conductor.”

    “I can’t listen to any more Wagner. I’m starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.” Woody Allen

    “Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost.” Harold C Schonberg, the first music critic to win the Pulitzer Prize For Criticism

    “Listening to the fifth symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for 45 minutes.” Aaron Copland

    “I worry that the person who thought up muzak may be thinking up something else.” Lily Tomlin

    BA DUMP BUMP and Silver, out! See you next set.

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    stevesilver48  4 months ago

    No wonder the Ancient Mariner was so scared.

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  4 months ago

    This joke or one like it has been posted in the last year. But it involves an Albatross!

    A woman and her son were walking on the beach when a giant wave swept over them. The woman was separated from her son and she looked all around and couldn’t see him anywhere. She looked up at the sky and screamed “Whoever is up there please help me. My son is everything to me, I can’t live without him. Please return my son to me alive”.

    Just then a beam of light lit up the and an albatross appeared with her son riding on it’s back. It flew the boy back to the beach where the Mother was waiting.As the mother embraced her son she looked up at the sky and said “He had a hat”.

    Until next time.

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    stevesilver48  4 months ago

    That UPS trick would probably work for the rest of us, no?

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    jasonsnakelover  4 months ago

    Isn’t that peachy. One time there were 72 streets.

    May the Lord be with you as He is with me.

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    Храм С.О.Д. (Templo S.U.D. ucraniano)  4 months ago

    The Atlanta post office must have it easy memorizing all those Peachtree streets, boulevards, avenues, etc.

    (No left turns for UPS trucks?)

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    Kevin @ 32179 Premium Member 4 months ago

    I just saw that we have an “Easy Street” in Ocala, Florida. I would LOVE to have that as my address. That’d be so cool!

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    Bilan  4 months ago

    That factoid about Peachtree in Atlanta was just on Jeopardy.

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    therese_callahan2002  4 months ago

    I visited a mall on one of those streets when I decided to have dinner at Checkers.

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    Astérix  4 months ago

    I don’t get it. How do you save gas by avoiding left turns?

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    SquidGamerGal  4 months ago

    That’s a Jumbo!

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    khmo  4 months ago

    So, can someone explain the left turn business???

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  4 months ago

    RBION doles out misinformation again. Those big birds have only two feet. It is terrible that we have to correct … er, what’s that? Oh, the wingspan thingy. Okay. Never mind. ~ Emily Litella

    Take care, may relentless TV rabbit ear adjuster Barbara “Usually The Best Reception Is When They Face My Ceiling Leaks” Frumpord be with you, and gesundheit.

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    scpandich  4 months ago

    I would not want to have to try to follow someone else’s directions driving in Atlanta. “No, dang it, I said ‘Peachtree Lane,’ not ‘Peachtree Boulevard!’”

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    oakie817  4 months ago

    okay…how can they avoid left turns…doesn’t sound right

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    theincrediblebulk  4 months ago

    Do they know how much more than 11 feet an albatrosses wings can measure? Otherwise their building measurements won’t be very precise.

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    chaosed2  4 months ago

    I live in Fayetteville NC, and this is an accurate example of driving directions: “Go down Raeford rd until you get to Reaford rd, turn onto Reaford rd, go past Reaford rd until you get to Raeford rd.”

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    heathcliff2  4 months ago

    I’ve seen UPS making some left turns. I agree. UPS should be making more right turns.

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    heathcliff2  4 months ago

    I’ve been in towns littered with street signs like that.

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    Teto85 Premium Member 4 months ago

    No left turns for UPS drivers in busy cities. In less trafficked areas they still make left turns.

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    dv1093  4 months ago

    That Peachtree thing must be pretty confusing. And, from now on, I’ll never make a left-turn again. Must be murder on NASCAR.

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    FassEddie  4 months ago

    UPS will save even more gas when they switch to electric vans!

    Yay team Brown!

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    WCraft Premium Member 4 months ago

    Tourist in Atlanta, receiving directions from a native: “Head south on Peachtree, then turn right onto Peachtree then go about 3 blocks until you come to Peachtree than take aright again. After two blocks, turn left onto Peachtree….

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    jsimpso1  4 months ago

    The no left turn thing is an old one https://www.businessinsider.com/ups-efficiency-secret-our-trucks-never-turn-left-2011-3

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    poppacapsmokeblower  4 months ago

    Ah, but how many peach trees has Atlanta got?

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    rbullfogg  4 months ago

    Well now we know why Atlanta is so confused! Atlanta like Chicago both need to be annexed from their respective states!

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    stamps  4 months ago

    Atlanta must drive GPS users crazy.

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    Buckeye67  4 months ago

    Can someone explain to me why an albatross wants to fly around measuring things.

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    Scott S  4 months ago

    There are intersections here that I will go blocks out of my way to avoid turning left through them. At certain times of the day it’s all but impossible.

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    tee929  4 months ago

    The Peach Tree reference was a Jeopardy answer this past week or so…..

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    Jogger2  4 months ago

    I knew one driver who wasn’t comfortable making left turns from busy roads without a traffic light. She would often go a few extra blocks to reach a light.

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    spaced man spliff Premium Member 4 months ago

    Albatrosses (albatri?) need a good running start before they can take off, due to their enormous wingspan.

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  4 months ago

    It’s getting late in the gocomics day, but I just found a very short joke I wanted to share. So I am.

    I went to the funeral of man who wrote the hokey-pokey song, but it was quite a mess as they couldn’t get his body into the casket.

    They put his right foot in . . .

    Until next time.

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