Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for August 01, 2022

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    stevesilver48  2 months ago

    This space reserved for Eromlig!.

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    Chihal  2 months ago

    Regular readers here know I’m Jewish. What they don’t know is that I like gospel music and Turley Richards.

    “Turley whom?” you may ask. He’s a blind singer, now in his 80s, but still blessed with his up-to-five-octave vocal range. Check out “I Heard the Voice of Jesus Saying" at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkl9Z7gkRk8 and enjoy.

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    stevesilver48  2 months ago

    Hey now, Ripley’s Believe It Or Not!Comic fans! Here are some more musical quips by people we may or may not’ve heard of:

    A guy called to ask what time the show started and we said, “What time can you get here?” Clubowner Ronnie Scott

    The band was playing “Tea For One” and the audience was on its foot. Ronnie Scott again.

    “In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world IS weird and people take antacids for agita and Prozac and other psych drugs to make it normal.” Damon Albarn. (Who?)

    “In the 60s, the record companies seemed to sign anything with long hair. If it was a sheepdog, so what?” Nick Mason. Ditto. Screw this guy. They didn’t sign ME!

    “If you’re 28 and singing about being over the hill, you’re pretending. When you’re 67 and singing about it, you know what you’re talking about.” Loudon Wainwright. (Thanks, Loudon.)

    “We only knew four chords, but we arranged them pretty well.”Lemmy from Motörhead

    “I’ll probably get busted at my own funeral.” Jimi Hendrix

    “Life is like a sewer. What you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer, humorous singer-piano player.

    “My chances of getting into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.” Weird Al Yankovic

    “Let me be clear about this. I don’t have a drug problem. I have a police problem.” Keith Richards.

    “I’m gonna outlive even Tom Petty’s kids! Keith again.

    It’s been said that every cigarette you smoke adds a day to Keith Richard’s life.

    BA DUMP BUMP and Silver. Out. “See youse in the morrow.”(Boro Park Shakespeare)

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    eromlig  2 months ago

    Hello, RBIONs! I’ve been on the road all across America, from Seattle to the Adirondacks to San Diego. It’s been a long, exhausting trip; now it’s done. For now…If you’re living in freedom, you most likely have the American armed forces to thank for it. (Yes, our Brit and Aussie friends also live in freedom, though a somewhat indebted form.) If you’re reading this in English, the same credit applies, though it may not be as great a thing, given all the difficulties the language brings. But we still can, and do, make fun of our military – especially its officers:A corporal and a full-bird colonel are both getting their hair cut at the base barber shop. “Would you like me to rub some of this cologne into your scalp?” the barber asks the colonel.The colonel takes a whiff and says, “Good Lord, no! My wife will think I’ve been inside a house of ill repute!”“I’ll take some, please,” the corporal speaks up. “My wife doesn’t know what the inside of a house of ill repute smells like.”

    Remember, everyone, that the worst part of being an atheist is that you have no one to talk to when you’re getting a really good backrub.

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    jasonsnakelover  2 months ago

    Kephen Sting

    The weird thing about Scooby Doo being portrayed as a cowardly dog is that Great Danes make good watch dogs. If you try to break into someone’s house when the owner has a Great Dane, you can expect to get bit hard.

    May the Lord be with you as He is with me.

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    stevesilver48  2 months ago

    Looks like zee dog, le chien to you s’il vous plais, was testifying against a clown from Heck.

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    monkeysky  2 months ago

    Did you know that world-renowned writer Stephen King was once hit by a car? Just something to consider.

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    stevesilver48  2 months ago

    I have to confess that I don’t need to be totally covered but I don’t like my arm or leg hanging off the bed.

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    therese_callahan2002  2 months ago

    There was also a true story I saw on TV about a parrot that witnessed a murder. It even quoted the victim’s last words.

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    A Common 'tator  2 months ago

    A French monkey was hanged in Hartlepool… as a spy…

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    Charlie Fogwhistle  2 months ago

    I was watching Jimmy Kimmel and discussing where to go for lunch with my girlfriend when the topic of “unconditional love” was brought up. I nodded and told her “…of course I love you and you love me. But both of these types of love are conditional on many things”.

    She immediately sat down and began to counter my point with sheer will and admiration.

    “I love you no matter what babe”. I said “let’s go grab some lunch. Let’s take the dog too”. I whistled for Spike who was wrestling a new beef bone down with his 4.5lb chihuahua frame. He sprang to action and came, tail wagging full force.

    We went out to the car and I opened the trunk. I placed Spike inside and he laid down. I asked my girlfriend to do the same. She hesitated then slowly got in. I smiled and down went the trunk lid.

    After I drove around and decided where to go for lunch, I parked and went to the trunk. I opened the trunk and there was my girlfriend, furious, skirt rumpled and red in the face. Spike on the other hand was as playful as ever, tail still wagging as I removed him from the trunk.

    Before she spoke I pointed to Spike and explained “See, that’s unconditional love”.

    Until next time.

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    zerotvus  2 months ago

    Scooby is 50 years old and kids still love him……

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    MY DOG IS MY CO PILOT  2 months ago

    Doesn’t everybody sleep with their legs under the covers?

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    James Wolfenstein  2 months ago

    Not to be a stickler but the dog didn’t give testimony. His behavior under specific circumstances was presented as evidence. And it wasn’t the first time. It’s debatable if the behavior of a dog can be considered objective evidence, it was a criminal court, but it didn’t actually recognize the murderer and describe the event.

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    Crowmeus  2 months ago

    I’m not sure if it was used on any cartoon, but Scoobert was used in the live-action movie.

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    Huckleberry Hiroshima  2 months ago

    How much doo could a Scooby-Doo scoop if a Scooby-Doo could scoop doo?

    Take care, may iambic pentameter enthusiast Ralph Waldo “Cryptic Obfuscation Doth Poetry Make Or Ruin As It’s Up To You” Emersord be with you, and gesundheit.

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    JoshHere  2 months ago

    Maybe Scoobert is related to Dogbert

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    Jogger2  about 2 months ago

    Was the dog a nose witness?

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    WCraft Premium Member about 2 months ago

    Well, duh! Everyone knows monsters can’t get you if you’re under the covers!

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    poppacapsmokeblower  about 2 months ago

    Scoobert easily becomes Scoobie, but what’s his last name Dodo, Doodoo, Doofus, Doobert, Dooberman?

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    Tuco  about 2 months ago
    BROWN BAG

    Boudreaux sees Thibodeaux walking down the street one day with a paper bag under his arm.

    Boudreaux says, “Thibodeaux, what you got in that bag?”

    Thib say, “I got some cokes in there.”Boudreaux says, “Thib, if I can guess how many of them cokes ya got in that bag, can I have one?”

    Thibodeaux says “Boudreaux, if you can guess how many cokes I got in that bag, I’ll give you both of them.”

    Boudreaux says, “Okay, six?”

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    PouluCBagumba  about 2 months ago

    Dog must have been a pointer.

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    yangeldf  about 2 months ago

    the dog one reminds me of an episode of Star Trek: Voyager, where a guy committed a murder but claimed he didn’t know the victim, but the victim’s dog, who would bark at any strangers, reacted as if he was an old friend, proving he WAS familiar with the household he claimed to never visit.

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    joefearsnothing  about 2 months ago

    Wha? Was he wrong? ;o}

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    Carl Rennhack Premium Member about 2 months ago

    That dog story reminds me of the “Perry Mason” episode (“The Case of the Golden Oranges”, Season 6, Episode 20) where the attorney speaks up for the dog. It’s on the “uncle earl’s classic tv” website!

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    lawguy05  about 2 months ago

    Hey, gang – we have jury duty.

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    schaefer jim  about 2 months ago

    I got nailed at Go Comics for using common profanity. I now use asterisks.

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    heathcliff2  about 2 months ago

    I need to watch all the Scooby episodes (on DVD) again. I don’t recall seeing or hearing anyone calling him Scoobert. Anyone recall an episode?

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    heathcliff2  about 2 months ago

    At least one dog appeared as witness in court in USA also. It was in a Perry Mason episode.

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    spaced man spliff Premium Member about 2 months ago

    There was a man with a bionic eye and a woman with a bionic ear. Whyizzit they didn’t come up with a dog with a bionic nose?

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    198.23.5.11  about 2 months ago

    Hey,maybe it was a police dog.The killer had a peculiar smell t hat only the dog could identify…

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    pbr50138  about 2 months ago

    Sleeps with his legs under the cover? How else would you sleep?

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