Hiya Folks. Before I drop my bon mot for the night let me have a mot with *_louienpat*_ and J. R. M. who say my jokes are old, which of course, they are. There are no new jokes. Doubt me? Take the Silver Challenge. Tell me one I never heard. How will we know if I’ve heard it? Tell me a joke half way through and see if I can’t finish it. C’mon. Make me laugh. Take the Silver Challenge. Tell me a joke I haven’t heard. If it’s any good I’ll admit it loudly, send it to my pals and give you full credit for it, and stand corrected.Remember. Just tell your joke half way. See if I can’t finish it.
And you know something? THAT’S my good word for the evening.I really didn’t have a joke at the ready and all this is wrecking havoc on my literary pursuits. (Did that sound a bit snooty?)OK? Wait for it now… SILVER! OUT!
Hospital regulations require patients being discharged to be wheeled out in a wheelchair. A student nurse, fresh out of the Marine Corps, notices a fully-dressed man sitting on a bed with a suitcase at his feet. “I’ll get you a wheelchair, Sir,” says the student.
“No, I’m fine, really,” the man says.
The marine-turned-nurse will not be deterred, however. “Sir, you will get in the wheelchair – it’s the hospital’s rule!” And without further argument, the man sits in the wheelchair.
The burly nurse-in-training reaches the lobby with his charge. “Now is your wife coming to pick you up?” he asks the man.
“I really doubt it,” the man replies. “She’s still up in the room behand a curtain, changing out of her hospital gown.”
Capone strikes me as looking more like a trumpet player.
It’s called a hogshead because that’s how much beer a hog could drink back then before it went to its head
You don’t want to see the hog they based that measurement on!
♫ Misty taste of moonshine teardrop in my eyes ♫
So if not half a hogshead, what are 31 and one-half gallons called as?
How do you know if the galaxy isn’t suffering from a temporary flatulence issue?
Can you imagine being stuck in prison AND listening to banjo music, but you don’t dare complain to the guy about it?
A hogs head can be anywhere between 54 Gls and 140 Gls dependent on what is the item, a UK beer Hogshead is 54 Imperial Gallons.
The first time I heard the term hogshead was in a song:
“Over men and horses, hoops and garters Lastly through a hogshead of real fire”
My ex mother-in-law’s nickname, they said you could put lipstick on her but it did no good.
Upon further review, it was just ‘Borscht Night’ on the space station when the Russian cosmonauts were there.
That’s no dying galaxy, that’s my ex.
Take care, may renowned proctologist Dr. Meindaumen Riecht Schlechtord be with you, and gesundheit.
One time I saw a galaxy bleeding out 10,001 suns’ worth of gas every year.
May the Lord be with you.
Just call me a dying galaxy.
So is that gas regular or premium?
Wow – that would hold a lot of head cheese!
What kind of gas?
Are those gallons US or Imperial
One time, jasonsnakelover had a barrel that held 62 gallons!
That musta’ been one HELL of a flat tire…
Steve and Eromlig are hunting in the forest and they find some tracks, “What kind of tracks do you think these are Steve?” asked Eromlig, “bear tracks?”, “no” said Steve. “Deer tracks?”, “no” said Steve. “How about…..”, just then they were hit by a train.
Banjo? Then what’s he got in that violin case? ☺
Fartians of the Galaxy. “I am Toot.”
Galaxy ID2299 is dying because it’s losing gas following a merger with another galaxy https://english.tachyonbeam.com/2021/01/12/galaxy-id2299-is-dying-because-its-losing-gas-following-a-galaxy-merger/
The post about Al Capone being in a band, is news to me.