Ripley's Believe It or Not by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for December 28, 2016

“I have bad news; your blowhole is faulty.”

that’s quite an equation, Prof. Barkley

If you give the kid the equation to figure out when he should start in, it will buy you some additional time (aka the quantum child variable)

I use to ask my Dad when we were going to get there before we got to the end of the driveway. He would have been disappointed if I didn’t.

Pretty ironic for the dolphin because that, well…blows.

Perhaps the dolphin just needs a little Vick’s VapoRub®.

Kind of like D=NP² The chances of duffing a golf shot is equal to the number of people watching squared.

Remind me not to move to Lakeland.

Then ole Kyle died by a scratch from a kitten getting infected.

This Professor Barkley has entirely way too much time on his hands. How does one even go about thinking of such worthless nonsense?

I never had to ask because my mother would start in on my father about 5 minutes into a trip.

What unit is time in for the “Are we there yet?” equation.

Kyle’s nickname is “Lucky”

I don’t want to be anywhere near Kyle! He’s bad luck for the rest of us!

Coincidence! Now America will have to learn to breathe through IT’S ‘blowhole’…

The President Elect is a faulty blowhole.

The Brown Recluse venom is necrotizing. If it kills you it won’t be from the venom directly, but from the dead and dying skin.

Kyle realized then that he’d had a really bad day….

Dear Ripley’s,

The brown recluse spider (Loxosceles reclusa) is rumored to be the one of the most poisonous house spiders in the United States. However, although the bite of a brown recluse in rare instances can prove damaging to tissue, a fatality from a brown recluse bite has never been verified.

While surviving a lightning strike and a snake bite is unusual, surviving a brown recluse bite is actually not a big deal…

My kids always ask how long will it take? If I said 2 hours they would ask if it’s been 2 hours yet every 10 minutes .

I live in Lakeland. Never heard of him.

How do you define what counts as a distraction?

Define “distractions”.

When my grandson asked that I pulled to the side of the road and said yes we are there you can get out here..Funny thing, he never asked that again.