Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for October 16, 2016

Transcript:

Voice: Tahiti, we kidnapped you because you're killing the people of Pineapple Island with your greedy hold on their food supply. Tahiti Jones: I leave all that stuff to my second in command, Mr. Jenga! He told me that he was selling food at only 2 percent over Whole Foods' prices! I'm no monster! Tahiti Jones: I would never price-gouge the people who produced my wonderful girlfriend here! Woman: Oh, Tahiti! Cobra Carson: Are you tearing up? Man, love has wimped you up good Haywire. Rip Haywire: It's not that! I'm just allergic to peaceful reconciliation! Cobra Carson: We've got what we came here for, Rip. Let's go home. Rip Haywire: Can't. I'm worried about Kiwi's village and even Tahiti Jones. If his goons are running the show, they're not going to give up easily when Tahiti tells them they're through! Cobra Carson: Oh, boy... you've got that irritating hero look in your eyes. I hate that. Rip Haywire: Then you're really going to hate my "you're helping me" look.