Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for September 20, 2015

Transcript:

Rip Haywire: We're under attack! We've got to get out of here! Cobra Carson: Take off that hat! Maybe it angered the villagers! Rip Haywire: You're crazy! The jungle outfitter said I just look like Humphrey Bogart in "The African Queen." Away! You're supposed to run away from explosions! Cobra, it was just a land mine. Walk it off Man: Take the girl. As for the man... surprise me! Rip Haywire: Listen, ponytail. I may have an arrow in my shoulder, and I'm about a quart low on blood- but nobody's taking that girl while I'm not buried in a shallow jungle grave! Man: Sukiyaki, kill him! Take the girl! Rip Haywire: (Gulp) I really have to work on my ultimatums. You know, pal, I've been in a lot of death matches and I've won 'em all.