Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for July 17, 2014
Rip Haywire: Maddog Ironguts is the toughest soldier of fortune I ever met. He's the best in the business! He's more unkillable than Jay Leno! Hey, weak and miserable-looking old man... can yo point me to MadDog Ironguts' tent? Man: Rip! Glad you got my message. Rip Haywire: MadDog Ironguts!?! Man: Not so loud, noise makes my stomach crampy.