Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for January 18, 2014
Man: Here's the punk I kidnapped, Sheriff. I think of him as a welcome gift. Rip Haywire: You're coming too. Man: You need to be careful where you make a stand in my county, boy Rip Haywire: I knew I fell in something... but wha... oil? Man: Burn him! Rip Haywire: Hoo boy! I feel like a sirloin at Sizzler! Man 2: The never cook mine rare enough!