Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for July 03, 2013
Breezy: Crystal ball! Show Rip his future with Cobra! Cobra: Oh, Rip, darling! You've made me the happiest pirate queen in Polynesia! Rip: Ha, see? We're like Joanie and Chachie! Cobra: Lock my slave away in the dungeon! I wonder how many blood diamonds I can buy with all this inherited pirate loot? Breezy: See? See? She tricked you for her own greedy purposes! Rip: This crystal ball is worse than coleco-vision! It's obviously broken!