Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for April 24, 2013
Rip: Cobra, it was just a land mine. Walk it off! Man: Take the girl. As for the man... surprise me! Rip: Listen, ponytail, I may have an arrow in my shoulder, and I'm about a quart low on blood - But nobody's taking that girl while I'm not buried in a shallow jungle grave! Man: Sukiyaki, kill him! Take the girl! Rip: (gulp!) I really have to work on my ultimatums.