Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for November 29, 2012
Dutch: You're about the evilest broad I ever kissed, honey. And that includes Ann Coulter! Mother: D-dutch, I-I can change! I can make love, not war! Dutch: Take a gander at what love looks like, Darlin'. It's gross, but it's real! Mother: Gross. Dutch: Which brings me to what I've wanted to say to you for a very long time. Mother: Aw, that you love me, Dutch? Dutch: No, you're under arrest. Mother: See? This is why I divorced you!