Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for April 19, 2012
Man: Aiiieee! Look! The portly silhouette of our divine popokitty! Rip: Hear me, faithful! Release the hot chick and her jellyfish dog at once! Also, put me on a diet! I'm a cat, I'm going to eat every waffle and ho ho you put in front of me, fools! Popokitty: Mew. Rip: No, I won't take it back.