Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for March 19, 2012
Rip: I'm the slave to a crazy pirate queen, and cobra and TNT are at sea on a bomb-laden boat! What a great week! Poi: Come to me, man-slave. I command you to whisper sexy nothings into my ear. Rip: If Cobra's blown into shark chunks, I'm going to close out your register like the boss at a waffle house! Where's that detonator and how do I save my sweet bombshell? Poi: (Gulp!) Ruining (gasp) my (wheeze) moment!