Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for January 26, 2012
Goons: We must have shot this old geezer harder than we thought. He's deader than Anna Faris' career! Toss 'im out in the woods for the bears. Cobra: Show some respect! You could at least put him in the barn, and make the bears work for it! Goon: Fine. Do what she says. I'm betting all this won't matter unless Haywire breaks Axe Jefferson out of the hoosegow. Fawn: I've learned never to bet against a Haywire. Goons: Milo, you know workplace bets are against regulations! Shut up, Clyde. If you tell HR, I'll let them know who's been stealing all the pens.