Rip Haywire by Dan Thompson for November 06, 2009
Lady: So I wanna be on "wife swap"... Rip: Mother Maloney, she's boring! Could Cobra possibly be the only woman who makes my heart pitter-pat? I mean, sure she can turn on me like a rabid mongoose, but that only adds to her charm. Lady: Being a celebrity would so rock - Rip: I am such a fool to waste my time like this. Lady: Aren't you listening to me? Rip: I'd rather have bamboo shoved up my fingernails.