Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 12, 2021
richard's poor almanac winter skywatch by richard thompson the big tangle the cheese grater boomike mr. twinkles lamisil horsehead bookends dust bunny nebula the winter sky is chock-full of all sorts of inter-esting objects, like mr. twinkles, the cute star, and constellations like the horsehead bookends & lamisil the disgusting toenail fungus mascot. but really, the only sky object we are worried about right now is snow. thanks to global warming, snowflakes are bigger, fatter & stickier! and they've developed a semi-sentient hive-mind capable of de-tecting & smothering all major dc area thoroughfares right at drivetime! man 1: no! man 2: not now! exacerbating this threat are the pagan rituals practiced by local children to increase the likelihood of snowfall. these rituals include chanting, wearing pajamas inside-out, flushing ice cubes & sacrificing barbies to bob ryan. parents! please rein in your little heathens now, before it snows again! oop: sweetheart, what are you doing? kid: ice cube, ice cube, in the pot, jeez, i hope it snows a lot!