Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for July 28, 2020
uncle richard's suburban myths by richard thompson so there's this guy, he comes home from work every night, dives onto the couch and turns on the tv. man: ahhh click then he dozes off, the remote slips from his nerveless fingers and he spends a good 4 hours comatose, bombarded by a poisonous spew of sitcom & melodrama deathrays. man: z weeks, months, whole tv seasons pass... man: z till one night, long after midnight, he awakens to find a terrible transformation- man: yawn man: hey - i'm a centaur! richard: to be continued next week -- kid 1: that's it? he turns into a sofa? kid 2: now i'll have chintz nightmares!