Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 25, 2020
Transcript:
vacancy inn welcome colicky shriners 4 this place was- 5 on whose screen porch did you spend a sweltering afternoon with a tepid bottle of mr. pibb & some dietetic crackers watching a small dog run in tight circles? gino's cement garden crap outlet 25 acres of values cashier enter 6 how long did it take your mom to buy a 30 lb garden chipmunk here? -answers- 1. ghastly stomachy-bladderoid thing that scared you off the beach for a whole day. 2. booster seat mishap, sbarros, nj turnpike. 3. a. ohio. b. virginia. c. missouri. 4. terrible. and the cable was out. 5. either great aunt blanche's or great aunt mina's, i forget. 6. you'd still be there if you hadn't thrown up in that flowerpot.
Mr. Pibb is a poor imitation of Dr. Pepper. And I’d want real saltines instead of dietetic crackers! So, there!