Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for February 16, 2020
restaurant closings the following establishments have been closed for health code violations. la grenouille d'or. excessive atmosphere comparable to the mariana trench. patrons complaining of nosebleeds & "the bends." crazy lucy's bud crazy lucy's. putative biker bar actually frequented exclusively by wusses with vespas. ambulance reef 'n' beef 'n' surf 'n' turf. standing rib roast fell, injuring twelve. cap'n bill's crabhouse & dinner theater now playing the vagina monologues cap'n bill's crabhouse & dinner theater, production of "the vagina monologues" deemed inappropriate. wheeburger wheeburger. cootie contamination in ball pit. soylentia soylentia. soused sous-chef's sour sauces soil sausage souffle. six times real fast.