Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for May 27, 2019
Spring Vermin A Brief Guide Everyone would love me if my tail was fuzzy. Rats as big as cats Range- There's one under your chair Description- Large & rat like. Those damn hoppy bugs that always jump right at you Range- your basement. Description- Too horrifying to behold. Little dropkick sweater dogs Range- The end of some old lady's leash. Description- Some of them where little matching hats, too. (The dogs.) Frogs of extra legs Range- All-you-can-eat French restaurants. Description- Taste just like mutated chicken. Canadian romping sloths free range. Description- A nice change from the common inert sloth until he heard of them move through & flatten your azaleas.