Richard's Poor Almanac by Richard Thompson for January 11, 2019
undecided voter? clueless? uncertain? here's help. discuss the choices with someone whose opinion you respect. man 1: peee-yooo. man 2: eee-yuck. first-hand knowledge of the candi-dates is good. hang around outside looking undecided. they'll be all over you like a flock of cheap suits. children are our greatest resource & the hope for the future. what are they saying? kid 1: this guy walks funny. kid 2: this guy spits when he laughs. elect you could study up on the candidates in depth. compare their policies and records. measure the distance between rhetoric & reality. in no time you'll slip into a zomboid coma & miss the whole election. this is the coward's way out. if all else fails, try cosmic chance. the last sign you see on the way to your polling place is it. person 1: democrat republican democrat republican lost cat democrat republicrat demoyard sale democrat nader republican republican lose weight demo creat gutter cleaning person 2: gutter cleaning it is!